dinner at the mckenzie's

First thing: Make eye contact. Be polite. Always say,
please Pass the salt/vegetables/potatotes. You are dependent
on everyone on the table but nobody
will tell you that this is the case. It is best to start a conversation
with the people seated beside you. Nowadays, it does not matter
whether it's with the person to your right or left side; most
probably, they would have the same convictions, same
issues they'd like to move you
over to, but again, they are not aware of this. Indulge
their private delusion that
they are the most interesting people you will ever meet
in your lifetime. Smile and say That's wonderful! or frown and
say That's too bad, accordingly.

It is okay to think about other things while dining. You are not
the inventor of nostalgia or boredom. It is okay to think about your
children - dreaming the dreams of the innocent, unknown to you now.
But be alert, in case someone asks you about
the oil spill in town. You'd look
strange if you said nothing, offered no
opinion about the world. It might render you
unfeeling for life, a nomad who does
not fit in the grand scheme of things.

Keep your hand gestures to a mimimum so that
you wouldn't feel so uncontrolled and ugly afterwards, remembering
your nervous, big hands and wondering how you
have landed here at this peculiar time in your life. If
someone drops something, keep quiet so that you would
not let on that you have noticed, or else everyone
will turn their attention on you the whole night. And you
would not like that. Best to keep still so that you
can move along to wake up in the morning
and feel nothing for your wife beside you,
for the life you have decided to lead.

When they bring in the scented water,
dip your fingers in it, slowly, so as not to
show that you are not used to all this; are not
here at all but you are back in that
cold nipa hut and waiting with your mother for
the big, fresh potatoes that your father hauled in from the fields today.
In the water, you think you see your face, but it is his - your father's
expression bewildered and saddened now
by your wet, pink hands.